Gentle Dental

This is a seriously funny piece of true fiction. I was on a working vacation. Had to get away from the home office you know, same difference. Seems many of you appear to me to be clearly confused already. 

Anywho, I was just a bit more baffled when I wandered into the lost and found and found missing student teacher Constance Chance. Oooh she looked like the living dead. I mean she was pretty ugly. To be deceptively honest, I'd say she was a definite maybe. But then she took off her plastic glasses revealing her unibrow butt face. It was on before it was off.

Well, this impossible solution solved itself and soon we were all alone together. Controlled chaos turned into cool passion. I tried to act natural when I started getting a little bigger. down stairs. Bitter sweet, my confidence wavered. Barely dressed and growing smaller, I let out a silent scream and my negative growth-giant dwarf dong became old news when I saw... the spork.

Half naked Constance had a bag of loosely sealed plastic silverware and another of jumbo shrimp on dry ice with freezer burn. She was obviously an advanced beginner as the precooked raw shrimp were terribly good and complimented quite nicely the flying fish we  caught. For some reason, it seemed our impromptu picnic predicament was turning out to be one heck of a fine mess.

I knew she was going to stay when she gave me an exact estimate of her negative income. She told me she played bass guitar and, as an openly deceptive resident alien, it was my only choice to put her in my one man band Not Here. You'd think we'd get a lot more gigs. People are always looking for us especially since we got the outfield from Who's on First, Why and Because to open up.

Constance expressed a definite maybe and we took a calculated risk. A small crowd began to gather together.  When the music first started, there was deafening silence,  then a loud whisper, and finally a dull roar.  Even though I wasn't there with Not Here or her.  I heard it through the Grape Vine ( they were back stage) I asked why a song is a 'they' and he said Because had invited them to the after party... Whaaa?

As event full as it was, I dont doubt the events of this evening will make future history. It was a minor miracle which caused Constance to get a little pregnant. And no easy task getting on stage with our bellies half-full of fish. Freaking Why caught a fly ball backstage from I Don't Know, (3rd base) and it was all Because.

Not here was going nowhere, until magic realism stole the show. It was awfully good and almost all of it was recorded live.  I believe have the original copy. I must have misplaced it somewhere in virtual reality though. You should check it out. It's seriously funny.